


Chiccolo Week 2017

by coldphoenix



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-06 13:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11601672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldphoenix/pseuds/coldphoenix
Summary: These are just my entries for @chiccolofans' tumblr event Chiccolo Week, commencing 23/7/17. They're also available on tumblr individually, so feel free to reblog lol





	1. Beach Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PickleandtheQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PickleandtheQueen/gifts).



> This is my contribution towards day 1 of @chiccolofans’ Chiccolo Week. I’m really sorry this was late… I tried to write it on time but I just couldn’t, but I hope it’s still okay. I don’t have time to write long sketches, but my aim is to do a short for every day of Chiccolo Week. I have a lot going on right now so apologies in advance if the writing is bad ^_^’  
> Thanks for making this event @chiccolofans, I know you worked hard on it.

_Pant pant. Splash splash splash! Pant_. Chichi breathed quickly as she ran through the shallow beach water, not in the slightest bit worried about the incoming tide. It wasn’t like she didn’t have two saiyans and a namekian to rescue her. She raced under the boardwalk and hid behind a pillar, looking up at the tall namekian that followed her.  
“This…” Piccolo began, positioning himself beside her, as out of view as he could. He wasn’t out of view at all. This pillar wasn’t big enough to hide both of them. “This isn’t a very good spot.” He said, and moved his eyes to the start of the boardwalk, where a short outer wall blocked the view of what was underneath. “There.” He took hold of Chichi’s hand and the two of them ran to shelter, slightly afraid that they would be spotted by the two demi-saiyans that were looking for them. Chichi giggled as Piccolo dragged her along with him, so quickly she almost tripped and fell face first into the water. He pulled her up just in time, and they made their way over to the furthest point of the boardwalk, the shallow tide splashing around their feet.

They stood with their backs against the wall and Chichi looked at Piccolo, noticing his brows were creased in concentration.   
“Can you…” She panted, moving her damp hair out of her eyes. “Can you sense them?”   
“No…” Piccolo mumbled. “But then, they’d be hiding their energy. I’m hiding mine.”

He leaned back against the wall and exhaled, closing his eyes. “This game works so much better in the forest. There’s nowhere to hide here.” He heard a soft giggle come from beside him, and he felt a pair of warm, damp arms wrap around his bare waist, over the swim short that he’d reluctantly agreed to wear. They’d been in and out of the sea all day, with Gohan and Goten. They hadn’t been an official couple for long; this was their first family vacation… and it had been someone’s dumb idea to play hide and seek. Still… at least Piccolo got to hide. He smiled slightly and opened his eyes, to see Chichi staring back.   
“How long do you think it’ll take them?” She said, with a small smirk upon her lips and a mischievous twinkling in her eyes.   
“Not long at all.” Piccolo smirked back, and leaned down to kiss her, his hands finding their way onto her slim, unclothed waist. Chichi had decided to wear her bikini instead of a bathing suit; she’d lost weight recently and was keen to show off in front of all the other women her age. Piccolo thought it was kind of childish, but… he’d never complain about her wearing a bikini. She looked gorgeous in it.

His hands fondly massaged her back as he kissed her, and quickly enough they found their way onto her butt. He felt the heat of Chichi’s blush against his cheek, her grip on his back tightening slightly as he squeezed… 

_**Splash**_!  
“Found ya!”   
“Aii!” Chichi shrieked, her face turning bright red as she yanked herself away from Piccolo to stare with wide eyes, embarrassed and startled, at the two demi-saiyans that were standing a few feet away. They’d blatantly seen that. Gohan looked awkward, and was refusing to make eye contact… while Goten stood there with a wide, excited grin on his face, like Chichi and Piccolo had just been caught out. Well… they had.   
“You were smooching!” He beamed. “Ewwwww!”   
“Alright, that’s enough!” Chichi barked, stepping away from Piccolo. “There, you found us! Now let’s go get some ice cream!”   
“Yeah!” Goten exclaimed, and he immediately bolted off to pick out a dozen flavours.   
“ **Goten**! Come back here – Gohan, go after him!” Chichi ordered.   
“Okay!” Gohan immediately obeyed, keen to get away from the situation. 

Chichi folded her arms and huffed, closing her eyes as she tried to get over her embarrassment.   
“Oh my God… That was horrible…” She groaned.   
“Yeah…” Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks also darkened. He should have been paying more attention… They’d never seen him do that before! The boys had seen Chichi kiss Piccolo’s cheek here and there, and they’d seen the couple holding hands, but nothing like this. This was… new, to Chichi’s children. But… to be fair, they hadn’t seemed too freaked out by it – which was good… Still awkward as hell, though. Piccolo would rather not go through that again.

He looked down at Chichi and placed his hands on her tense shoulders, in an attempt to calm her down. “Don’t worry.” Piccolo soothed, picking up on her anxiety. “I’m sure they’ve forgotten about it by now.”   
“ _Sigh_. I know…” Chichi replied. She looked up at him, and offered a warm smile… with that same twinkling in her eyes. “How long do you think we have?”   
“C’mere!”   
“ _ **Aii**_!” Chichi shrieked in excitement and startled giggling as Piccolo scooped her up in his arms and kissed her, before flying off after the boys.


	2. Fantasy Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess for Fantasy Day this is mostly alien invasion with a kind of fairy tale/fantasy romantic thing ^_^’ I’m not sure how I feel about it lol, but it was all I could come up with so I hope it’s okay.

It was the middle of the night, and the Ox Princess Chichi, now seventeen years old, was fast asleep in her bed. She’d been down recently, crying herself to sleep over a broken promise. A promise made by her childhood sweetheart. He’d said he would come back for her. He’d said they would get married. She’d waited for him… but he’d never shown. She planned to chase him down herself next year, at the World Martial Arts Tournament. If he didn’t come to her by then, she would go to him, and give him a piece of her mind! But… as determined as she was to track him down, it didn’t stop Chichi feeling so hurt that she had to. This was just one of many nights where she’d gone to sleep with a broken heart.

She didn’t sleep long, though. Just after midnight, only a couple of hours after she’d succumbed to rest, Chichi was awoken by a loud, thunderous sound, like the whirring of a giant engine. She sat up in her bed, confused, and immediately shielded her eyes from an intense white, bright light. What the hell was that?  
“Dad!” She tried to cry out, but her voice wasn’t working. “Dad? _**Dad**_!” No matter how loud she shouted, she wasn’t making a sound. She started to panic, and panic quickly turned into fear. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she leapt out of bed, intending to run for her bedroom door… until she heard the sound of someone, or something opening her bedroom window. “ _ **Ai**_!” She silently shrieked, spinning round to face the thing. The whirring was loud around her, the light was bright… but through it all, she saw the outline of a figure; it was just visible through all the white. Oh God… there was somebody in her room! “Leave me alone!” She wailed, her eyes filling with tears. “Who are you!”

Her voice was still silent, but it seemed to be heard all the same. The figure raised its hand, in clear view of the window, as if it was gesturing to someone outside… and the light faded to a dull blue, one that Chichi could see through. One that didn’t hurt her eyes.

Chichi wanted to look out of the window, to see what was making that sound, but she couldn’t. Her eyes were fixed on the figure before her. What… what was that? It looked like a man, but… he was bald. And green. And he had antennae… _**Aii**_! He was an alien! So was that a spaceship outside? No fucking way! “Get out of my house!” Chichi yelled, and flinched at the sound of her own voice. It was working again… but it was quiet. So quiet it wouldn’t wake her father… “I’m warning you!” 

She took a fighting stance, inhaling. She was brave, all of a sudden. Part of her was convinced this was a dream, and the other part was too confused to really feel afraid. All she knew was that some giant green pervert had broken into her bedroom in the middle of the night! She was in her pyjamas! 

She stood her ground as the figure approached her. She was shaking, and she was nervous… her eyes were watering, but with her hands up in fighting pose she stood her ground, and looked him straight in the eyes. “Get out.” She hissed. “Now.”  
“… Princess.” 

Chichi flinched as the figure spoke. She hadn’t expected him to speak… and certainly not English! “Ox Princess?”  
“… Who’s asking?” Chichi demanded, her fighting stance hardening. How did he know who she was?  
“… Could you fall in love with an alien?” He asked her.  
“… What?”

Chichi breathed shakily, her guard dropping ever so slightly as she watched the green man get down on one knee before her. Was he… was he seriously asking…? Like… proposing…?  
“He isn’t coming for you.” The alien spoke, causing Chichi to resume her stance once more. Out of anger. The jerk! What the hell did he know? _How_ did he know about Goku? And it wasn’t any of his business anyway – to hell with him! “He doesn’t want to marry you.”  
“Screw you!” Chichi barked, although her voice was still soft. He was doing that, wasn’t he? With his weird alien powers. She wasn’t impressed by it!  
“Could you fall in love with an alien?” The green man asked her again.  
“Why are you asking!” Chichi demanded.  
“… Because…” The green man stared up at her from the floor, from kneeling down on one knee before her… and he gazed into her eyes. “I’ve been in love with you my whole life.”

Chichi gasped, her jaw dropping as the breath left her lungs. She stared at him with wide eyes, her body trembling. She lowered her hands, foolishly making herself open to attack… and she swallowed.  
“Wh…what…?” Chichi mumbled, in a voice that was genuinely quiet. “… H… I mean…” She swallowed again, and inhaled slowly. “How… do you know me?”  
“Could you fall in love with an alien?” He asked her once more, his eyes softening. He had brown eyes… She noticed that, all of a sudden. “... Please?”

Chichi gasped a little as he took hold of her hand. His fingers were calloused; his skin was rough… but he held her hand gently all the same, like he was being careful. Like she was a princess… “Ox Princess Chichi…?”  
“… I…” Chichi whimpered. What was happening…? Who was he? Where had he come from? Where was Goku? Why wasn’t Goku here – he was the one that was supposed to come for her! Not… not this guy. This was insane. And weird. And scary! This was so scary! But, even so, in that moment, when Chichi looked into his eyes… she suddenly felt like this was right. “… Yes.” Chichi quivered. “I mean… I guess so.”  
“Alright. So.” The green man smirked at her. “Will you come with me?”  
“… Okay.” Chichi’s eyes widened, startled at her own response. Okay? _Okay_? What the hell was she thinking!  
“Thank you.”

The alien man stood up, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve made me the happiest being in the universe.”  
“… My dad.” Chichi uttered. “I mean… I live here.”  
“We can visit here. Or reside on Earth, if you prefer.” The man answered. “But first, I’d like to show you my world.” He gestured towards the window, where Chichi was now convinced there was a spaceship waiting outside. “Then you can decide.”  
“… I’m in my pyjamas.” Chichi mumbled. The man simply chuckled, and raised his palm to her. As if by magic, Chichi suddenly found herself in the most beautiful outfit she’d ever seen. It was styled sort of like a wedding dress, but the colours were darker, mostly reds and purples… and the jewellery! Wow! She looked in her bedroom mirror; in the dim light it was hard to make herself out, but she could just about tell she looked amazing! She stared up at him, elated and stunned. “H-How did you know what suits me?”  
“My darling.” The man purred, trailing his thumb along her cheek. “You look gorgeous in anything.” He pulled his hand away, and winked at her. “Come on.” He flashed her another smirk; it was gleeful, with just the slightest hint of mischief behind it. “Let’s get out of here.”


	3. Species Swap Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t come up with much for this prompt, but I thought of this and it amused me XD I don’t know why they’ve transformed suddenly… and Piccolo doesn’t live in the Son House, I guess he’s just staying for dinner… or maybe this is set in that short time before the Cell Games where they did actually all live and train together. I don’t know ^_^’ But, I liked this idea anyway. Hope you enjoy!  
> *also, I’m going with the headcanon that namekians have male sex organs for the purposes of peeing and mating. They have female organs too, but only the male thing is relevant here.

Chichi stared with wide eyes, breathless, at the… man… she saw before her. He was a… human? Was he a human? He looked human. It had all happened so fast; one minute Piccolo, the big green namekian was standing before her, arguing with her over having to have fish for dinner again – as if it was her fault that he and her idiot husband hadn’t caught anything else. Then there’d been a bright flash, and suddenly… he looked human. His antennae were gone. His skin was darkish, like Vegeta’s complexion. He had short stubble around his face. He had hair! It was thick and black, and long. It wasn’t too bad, actually… Chichi had to admit, he made a pretty handsome human. But… _**why the hell was he a human**_!  
“What happened to you!” She shrieked wildly, clasping her hands over her mouth. Ow! That hurt! What the hell? Chichi frowned as a sharp pain struck her nose, as if she’d just scratched herself. Then… she noticed his eyes. Piccolo was staring at her with wide eyes, and a look of horror upon his new face, probably the same kind of horror she had on hers.  
“Me?” He choked. “Chichi…”

Chichi trembled, a sickening feeling forming in her stomach as she became unnerved by his ghostly, disturbed expression. Oh, Kami… she didn’t want to look. She didn’t want to look. But she had to. Okay… okay… Bravely, and slowly, and shaking, Chichi held her hands up in front of her face.  
“ _ **Aiiiiiiiiii**_!”  
“Whoa!”  
“ **Get off me**!”

Chichi wailed at the top of her lungs, her eyes watering as she battled against Piccolo’s grasp – Piccolo, who was now only a few inches taller than her. He held her tight, attempting to calm her down as she wildly thrashed. It didn’t calm her down, it made her even worse! She was _green_! She had claws! She… Oh God… Was she a…? “Do I still have boobs!” Chichi demanded, trying to break her arms out of his. “Check for me!”  
“Wha – check yourself!” Piccolo barked, a now red blush forming on his human face. 

He released her, and Chichi flung her hands to her now flat chest, then burst into tears.  
“Oh my God!” She bawled, quite clearly traumatised by whatever had happened to her. “I’m a boy!”  
“You’re not a boy…” Piccolo mumbled, running his clawless fingertips across his forehead. He’d been too focused on Chichi to notice his own transformation. Was he… a human? His antennae were gone, and his face… He ran his palm along his cheek and chin, frowning at the texture of it. It was rough. Did he have stubble? And… He slammed his hands onto the top of his head, his eyes widening at what he felt. He had hair! What the hell had happened to him!  
“P-Piccolo!” Chichi panted, shaking wildly in her distress. “We’ve swapped bodies!”  
“No, we haven’t.” Piccolo replied. “You’re still shorter than me – and you don’t look anything like _this_ body.” He slammed his palms onto his chest, just checking that he actually didn’t have Chichi’s body…  
“Why are you checking there!” Chichi shrieked. “You have stubble on your face, just feel that!”  
“Well then you can see that I obviously don’t have your body!” Piccolo barked.

He took a breath, in a vain attempt to calm himself down. “Look, I… I don’t know what’s happened, but… we’ll figure it out. I promise. Let’s go to Bulma – she can fix it, or the dragonballs can.” He looked at her. “Okay?”  
“O…” Chichi sniffed, wiping her eyes. She flinched, and retched when she caught her nose with her claws again. “Okay.” Chichi whimpered, frantically nodding “Come on. Hurry up. Before Goku sees me like this!”  
“Alright.” Piccolo made his way out of the house, with Chichi following close behind, until…  
“ _Eee_!” A startled shriek came from behind him, causing Piccolo to tense. What _now_? Did she think she was the only one freaking out here? Why couldn’t she at least try to keep it together!  
“What is it?” Piccolo demanded impatiently.  
“Oh my God…” Chichi sobbed from behind him. “I am a boy, Piccolo… I have my voice, but I’m definitely a boy.”  
“What are you – oh…” Piccolo’s cheeks darkened once more, as he turned to look at her. Chichi was still wearing her original clothing, although it was a little stretched in her taller frame. But… from what little Piccolo knew about human anatomy, it was his understanding that human females lacked certain… ‘parts’, and so female underwear probably wasn’t equipped to… contain it… 

Chichi was standing there, frozen solid, her eyes glistening as if she were about to burst into tears once more.  
“It’s poking out…” She whimpered. “I can feel it on my leg…”  
“… Um…” Piccolo held up his hand, and attempted to put better underwear on her, but in this body his namekian powers weren’t working. … Damn. “Just… just… put up with it.” Piccolo mumbled, his face becoming redder with every word he spoke. “It’ll be gone soon.” He turned to leave again, his scarlet face burning as Chichi awkwardly followed behind.


	4. Movie Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These prompts are getting harder ^_^’ I struggled to think of something for this one, but I did think about having them filming Aladdin with Chiccolo playing Aladdin and Jasmine, until I thought… how about they film Dragonball? Break the fourth wall and be the stars of their own show! Except Piccolo is playing the part of Goku… and he’s also playing himself, I guess. Maybe nobody else was available to play Goku XD Oh well! Comments would be extra appreciated on this one as I really don’t know how it’ll come across. Thank you in advance!  
> *also, the YouTube video I used for their lines:-  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAGibRSXyo4

“Okay. One… two… action!”  
“Hya!” Chichi lunged at the namekian man, and engaged in a very real battle in front of the cameras. They were filming Dragonball, of all things. Chichi hadn’t wanted to, to be honest, but money was tight since Goku had died and this seemed like an easy way to make more. At any rate, who better to play Son Chichi than Son Chichi herself? Piccolo was playing the part of Goku, at the World Tournament where Chichi and Goku had first gotten engaged… It was kind of sick, actually. Chichi was dating Piccolo now, and here he was playing her ex. There was something unsettling about that, particularly since it ended in Goku proposing. Still… the most disturbing part of all was that she had to remember this – and she remembered it quite clearly. She remembered being eighteen, and trying to beat the crap out of the boy that had left the behind. The boy that had broken her heart – and not for the last time. He never came for her; she’d had to hunt him down, and then he’d told her that he didn’t even know what marriage was when he made that promise. Seriously? Who does that! Chichi had been devastated. She’d wanted to cry, but at the time she’d forgiven him. She’d forgiven him back then… but looking back on it now… she was angry. Furious, even. She was angry at him for abandoning her. She was angry at him for making a promise he couldn’t keep. She was angry at him for leaving her alone with two children! Thank Kami Piccolo had been there to help her through it – he was a better partner to her than Goku had ever been. Which was ironic, considering Chichi seemed to forget all about how great Piccolo was when he was dressed as Goku. She was trying to kill him!  
“Chichi!” Piccolo cried, desperately blocking her attacks. This was hardy fair – he was way stronger than her! He couldn’t fight back!  
“Don’t use my name!” Chichi barked. “He didn’t know my name yet!”  
“Can you just calm down!” Piccolo cried, ducking out of the way of her raging kicks and punches – and it only seemed to enrage Chichi more that he wasn’t letting her hit him. She did realise he wasn’t actually Goku, didn’t she? What was wrong with her!  
“Fuck you –”  
“Okay, cut!”

The director ordered her to stop, but Chichi didn’t. She just kept throwing herself at Piccolo, seemingly determined to kill him. “Chichi, stop!” The director’s voice called to her, in an attempt to get her to cease her attacks. “Chichi! That’s enough! Cut!”  
“Go to hell you stupid monkey jackass –”  
“ _ **Chichi**_!”

Piccolo grabbed her, using more of his strength than he’d wanted to, to restrain her. He took hold of her wrists and pulled her against him, quickly wrapping his arms around her in a restrictive embrace. “Calm down!” He growled. “I’m not Goku!”  
“Go to hell –”  
“ **Chichi**! It’s me! _Piccolo_!”  
“… Wh…” 

Suddenly, Chichi stopped. She seemed to come to her senses. She blinked, and looked around… confused, as if she’d forgotten where she was. Shit… everybody was staring at her. The crew, the director, the extras… jeez! Chichi’s face darkened in embarrassment. This was horrible… “Piccolo…” She whimpered.

He released her, and Chichi looked up at him, revealing that she had tears in her eyes. Why…? “I… I’m sorry.” Chichi sobbed. “I-I don’t know what came over me, I… I just remembered how mad I was – and I… I…”  
Hey.” Piccolo spoke, placing his hands on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes. “Don’t worry about it. It’s forgotten already. Let’s just… take a few minutes, okay?” He looked past her, at the director. “Can we take a break?”  
“Uh… sure.” The director mumbled, and announced to the room. “Everybody – five minutes.”

The cast and crew quickly scattered around, not wanting to stare… but it didn’t stop them glancing over at Chichi every so often, wondering what had gotten into her. Piccolo glared at them, angered by their prying. She wasn’t a park attraction! They shivered under his stare, and quickly looked away. Good. Piccolo moved his eyes back to Chichi, who was staring at the floor and sobbing, her face red in embarrassment.  
“I… I’m being stupid.” Chichi mumbled, feebly wiping her eyes.  
“No… you’re not.” Piccolo replied. He felt sorry for her. He sort of understood why she’d lost it. He’d been with Chichi for just over three years now, and living with her for two and a half… At first she’d only had good things to say about Goku, and she’d really seemed to miss him… but the closer she and Piccolo had become, the more comfortable she’d felt around him, the more time had gone on… she had revealed things. Her life with Goku hadn’t been entirely happy. In fact, a lot of the time it had been a struggle. She had a lot of resentment towards him. For putting her last so often, for making her wait for him, for leaving… Piccolo was no expert on women or human emotions – in fact he had very little experience in either – but this tournament held a lot of bad memories for Chichi, and being put in what had become a bad memory for her, and being given a guy dressed like Goku as a punching bag… it seemed to have made her release all these negative feelings. Which was bad for Piccolo… her firsts had caught him a few times. He was actually bruised. “… You’re pretty strong when you’re angry.”

Chichi laughed a little, and looked at him.  
“Sorry…” She said. “Did I hurt you?”  
“Don’t worry about it.” Piccolo smiled. He leaned down and kissed her, before pulling her into a warm embrace. He could feel the others still staring at them, but he didn’t care. To hell with them. They were just a bunch of kids anyway, being paid peanuts for looking like the World Tournament audience. They wouldn’t remember this – and even if they did, they were all terrified of Piccolo. They wouldn’t dare mention it. “Listen… let’s just do a different scene. I want to work on my movements anyway.” He pulled away, to look at Chichi. “Are you good to carry on?”  
“… Yes.” Chichi sighed, and wiped her eyes one more. Luckily her makeup was still intact; she could carry on filming. “Of course I want to. Let’s just… do another scene.”  
“Alright.” Piccolo moved his eyes to the director and called out, “Hey! Can we shoot the next scene?”  
“The proposal?”  
“Tch… ‘proposal’.” Chichi grumbled bitterly. “It was a coercion.”  
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Came the director’s voice. “Everyone, places!”

Piccolo looked at Chichi as everyone moved into position.  
“Do you know your lines?” He asked.  
“Are you kidding?” Chichi barked. “I was there! I invented the lines! Let’s just do this!” She marched over to the side of the fighting stage and jumped off, ready to climb back on it, like she had done all that time ago. This was ridiculous. She **hated** this! She couldn’t wait until it was over.  
“Okay. One… two… action!”  
“Just as I thought, you’ve grown really strong.” Chichi recited her own words perfectly as she climbed onto the stage, and approached Piccolo in costume. “I’m glad I decided to do this.”  
“So what’s your name?” A sharp pain stabbed into Chichi’s heart as Piccolo spoke his line, but she didn’t let it bother her. No. She refused. She was with a better man now. Someone who appreciated her. She wasn’t one to speak ill of the dead, but she wasn’t going to let that _idiot_ bother her.  
“You still don’t know?” She frowned, once again perfectly reciting her lines.

She listened to his response, and spoke her lines flawlessly, as if she was once again speaking them on impulse, for the first time. She kept in character, acting as she should… and skilfully hiding the fact that she was so uncomfortable right now.  
“I always thought a bride was some sort of food.” There is was… that _horrific_ line. Chichi remembered in clear as day, and she had to really try hard not to cry as Piccolo spoke the words, in his best dumb voice.  
“Food?” Chichi repeated in shock. Food…? _Food_? To this day, it still stunned her how naïve Goku had been. Even for a child, he’d been so dense! “So then…” She mumbled quietly, her eyes glistening, in character. “What about the promise…?”  
“But, well, I did make you a promise.”

Piccolo looked at Chichi, and the way she was hanging her head in dismay. He had to hand it to her, she was really staying in character. He remembered witnessing this scene himself, back when he was young – Chichi had looked well and truly heartbroken… about as heartbroken as she looked now, actually. It wasn’t all acting. Part of it was, but mostly… this was just horrible for her. … … Tch. Screw it. He wasn’t going to wait. He’d planned this whole thing, and it wasn’t for here and now… but, plans changed. Here and now was right for this. Here and now was when she needed it. “And I guess that’s just as well.” Piccolo spoke, causing Chichi to frown a little. That wasn’t his line… “Because honestly, I’m been in love with you for a long time, maybe even since we met.” Chichi moved her eyes up to him, confused. What the hell was he doing? Did somebody change the script?  
“I didn’t understand love back then, or attraction. I guess I was too focused on my own goals to notice how pretty you were.” What… the hell…?  
_“Piccolo?”_ Chichi whispered. _“What are you doing?”_  
“But… better late than never, right?” Piccolo smiled down at her. “I sure know now.” 

He approached her, like he was supposed to… Chichi stared up at him, and started to tense. This… didn’t feel like just a change in the script… “And my heart’s been waiting to ask you this a real long time.” The way he was looking at her… it was so sincere. It felt so real… … No. No… Chichi’s lips went dry, and for a few seconds her heart stopped. No, no… “Chichi…” No no no no no no no!

Piccolo got down on one knee, and smiled up at her. “Will you marry me?”  
“I…” Chichi gasped. She swallowed back the tears that were rapidly starting to take over her throat, and bit her quivering lip. _“Piccolo… that… that’s not in the script.”_  
_“I’m not asking in character.”_ Piccolo quietly replied. _“I’m just asking.”_  
_“Wh…”_ Chichi exhaled, her eyes widening. No… No! No way! Had Piccolo just…? _**No**_! This – this couldn’t be happening!  
_“Answer.”_ Piccolo whispered. _“Otherwise they’ll have to reshoot.”_  
“Yes!” Chichi wailed, her eyes filling with tears. “Yes, I will!”  
“Would you listen to that! Competitor Son has popped the question!” The announcer exclaimed, quickly adjusting to the unexpected script changes, and on queue the actor audience started to cheer just as Chichi leapt into Piccolo’s arms.  
“And cut!”

The director beamed, a wide grin on his face as he admired what he thought was just a lot of improvising. “Nice work, Guys! That’s so much better than the original, how did you come up with it? And Chichi – that’s great work with the tears! I think we can leave that scene as it is.”

Chichi and Piccolo weren’t listening, they were too busy squeezing each other in an increasingly painful embrace.  
“Oh my God!” Chichi panted, her heart racing and her entire body trembling. “You’re – you’re serious? You’re serious!”  
“Sorry I didn’t bring the ring…” Piccolo mumbled. “I wasn’t planning on asking you on-set…”  
“You think I care about a stupid ring!” Chichi wailed. “You just asked me to marry you! And you knew what marriage was! Nobody’s ever done that to me before!”  
“Haha.” Piccolo smirked down at her. “Well. Maybe now you’ll have some better memories of this place.”  
“I love you!” Chichi shrieked. “Piccolo –” She jumped up ay him, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. “I love you!”  
“Heh.” Piccolo grunted, returning the kiss onto her soft lips. “I love you too.”  
“Um, Guys…” The director’s voice came from a few feet away. “We’re not shooting anymore…”


	5. Dating Day

Chichi nervously nibbled at her food, her eyes darting around every so often. This was so awkward… she was so tense. It was annoying! They were supposed to be having a good time. She and Piccolo had been dating in secret for almost two months now. It mostly consisted of him coming over to her house, or them booking a hotel together somewhere far away, where nobody could see them. Chichi was terrified of getting caught. She was doing nothing wrong, she knew that. She and Goku had separated – and Goku was fine with it! He was never much for settling down and being a stay-at-home husband anyway, and they still got along just fine with each other. He’d even encouraged her to date, because he knew how much it meant to Chichi to have a husband around. Actually, Goku had been so sweet and considerate towards her during their breakup, it had made Chichi briefly wonder why she was leaving him. But then… she remembered. They just didn’t work anymore.

Anyway. So she’d starting seeing Piccolo shortly after – the pair of them knew it was coming. They’d been attracted to each other – in love with each other – for years. They hadn’t done anything about it until after Goku had moved out, but as soon as he had… Piccolo had come by on Chichi’s first night alone, and stayed over… and he’d barely left since. He spent most nights at Chichi’s house, unless they went away together. Still, though… as much as Piccolo got on with her children, and as much as Goku had given Chichi his blessing to date again, Chichi was still terrified of getting caught. Maybe it was because the idea of dating someone other than Goku was still strange to her, or maybe it was because it was _Piccolo_. Piccolo, the person that her children had always regarded as an uncle, or guardian… but _not_ their biological father. Chichi had always made sure both Gohan and Goten had been fully aware and accepting of the fact that Goku was their dad. So… having Piccolo of all people as a real stepfather… Chichi wasn’t sure how they’d respond. It made her not want to go out in public, in case they were seen. But, that was a stupid idea, Chichi knew it. She and Piccolo had every intention of becoming serious, and so the kids would have to find out sooner or later. It wasn’t like they’d care… Gohan was an adult with a child of his own, and Goten was starting high school soon, so he had other things on his mind, and who his mother was dating probably wasn’t a big concern of his right now. He was barely home anyway, he was always with Trunks.

So Chichi had decided that tonight would be the night when she and Piccolo went out, in public. On a real date. She’d reserved a table at the fanciest restaurant in town, and bought herself a new dress, and spent a couple of hours getting her hair and makeup ready… She’d never been on a grown up date before. It was exciting! And she’d been looking forward to it all day. But… now that she was here, with Piccolo, out in the open… it felt more and more daunting to her with every second that passed. Obviously, Piccolo noticed.   
“We can go.” He said. “If you’re uncomfortable.”   
“What are you talking about?” Chichi smiled, and sipped her wine. “I’m fine.”   
“You’re not.” Piccolo narrowed his eyes at her. “You’ve been an emotional wreck ever since we came in.”   
“Thanks.” Chichi flatly growled.

Piccolo let out a sigh. To be honest, he was just as uncomfortable as her. At least she had relationship experience. He had no idea how to do this! He was hardly a civilised, silver-tongued gentleman. He didn’t feel like he belonged in a nice place like this – and if Chichi was nervous, Piccolo had every reason to be more so.   
“I didn’t mean to insult you.” Piccolo said. “I mean… look. This is weird for us both. Maybe we just weren’t ready. Let’s go back to your place – we can do this another time.”   
“No!” Chichi stubbornly huffed. “We’re always at my place! I’m tired of sneaking around, we’re not doing anything wrong!”   
“I know that –”  
“Well good!” Chichi pouted. “So I don’t care how weird this is, we’re going to grin and bear it and have a nice time! Now eat your dinner!”   
“Alright…” Piccolo mumbled, giving up. Chichi was impossible to argue with, even if his argument was more valid – and it usually was. The only battle she’d let him win was a physical one, and even then she used the excuse of carrying two children, as if she would have easily defeated him otherwise.

The two of them resumed eating in silence, awkwardly thinking of something to say. Actually Piccolo was wildly grateful when someone came along selling flowers; at least it would release some of the tension between them.   
“Flower for the lady?” A well-groomed member of staff smiled, offering Piccolo a selection of roses.   
“Sure.” Piccolo nodded. _Please_! Anything for a distraction.

Chichi’s lips parted slightly, as the man obediently picked out a rose and handed it to Piccolo. She watched Piccolo pay him, and the man walked away… and she was left with Piccolo looking at her, shyly holding out a rose. “Uh…” Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks darkening. “You… you like these, don’t you?”   
“… Yes.” Chichi bit her lip, and closed her eyes, trying desperately not to cry.   
“Wha –” Piccolo’s eyes widened, and he immediately became filled with dread. Why did she look upset all of a sudden? Had he done something wrong? Wasn’t this normal date etiquette? Crap! “What’s the matter?” He demanded. “Chichi?”   
“It…” Chichi opened her eyes again, and laughed a little, forcefully pushing back her tears. “It’s just… really sweet.” She took the rose from him and held it close to her, as if she were hugging it. “Piccolo…” Chichi sighed. “This is just what I wanted. I…” She sniffed. “I know it’s stupid, but… I wanted us to have the perfect date. Like a real couple.” She smiled at him, her damp eyes still glistening. “This is… this is it.”   
“… Oh.” Piccolo uttered, a wave of relief passing over him. “Well… good.” He smiled, and relaxed a little, comforted by the fact that this date wasn’t a total disaster after all. “… You look beautiful.”   
“You said.” Chichi giggled a little, remembering his face when she’d turned up looking like this. It had been a good minute before he’d even closed his mouth.   
“Well… you do.” Piccolo replied. “You always look beautiful.” 

Chichi looked away, a small, shy blush forming on her cheeks. She was starting to feel a little better…  
“Listen…” Chichi began, setting the rose down on the table. “I… I think we should tell the boys. It just feels wrong sneaking around like this.”   
“Sure.” Piccolo shrugged. Actually, he was keen on the idea. “I really don’t think they’ll care, Chichi. Goku’s fine with it – and it’s not like he sees them any less.”   
“I know, I know…” Chichi sighed. “I just… I couldn’t imagine my father ever finding someone else, but…” She shrugged. “Maybe it’d be different if my mom was around.”   
“They’re strong kids.” Piccolo reasoned. “And they know me. Anyway, they must have their suspicions –”  
“ _Mom_?”

Chichi and Piccolo’s eyes bulged wide, as a sharp jolt of dread shot through both of their hearts. Suddenly, Piccolo wasn’t so calm. Wasn’t that _**Gohan’s**_ voice? Shit! He looked up, and almost screamed to see Gohan and Videl standing there, dressed all nice and smart… and looking about as shocked as him. “P-Piccolo…?” Gohan choked. “What are you…?” He looked between the two of them, his mouth refusing to close even after he’d finished speaking. “Are… are you on a _date_?”  
“Uh…” Chichi and Piccolo both sweat dropped, and remained speechless and horrified… until Videl broke the ice.   
“Congratulations!” She beamed. “I always thought you made a cute couple.”   
“What!” Gohan cried, staring at her. “Videl –” He wanted to say more, but a stern look from his wife immediately silenced him. Tamed, Gohan calmed down, and awkwardly cleared his throat. “Uh…” He looked between his mother and Piccolo, and he forced a smile. “Yeah…” He mumbled. “This is… this is great.”   
“Gohan –”  
“No – Mom, really.” Gohan cut Chichi off. He looked between the two of them, back and forth, for a moment. Honestly, he never thought he’d see… _Piccolo_? And… and his mother? That was… weird! But… she did look very nice, Gohan had to admit… And Piccolo was clearly making a huge effort just by coming here; this was hardly his comfort zone. So… okay. Gohan was slightly unsettled by it, but if they were happy… … okay. “It’s fine.” Gohan smiled. “I’m happy for you two. Really. Um… sorry to disturb your… date.” His cheeks flushed slightly; it was weird using that word.   
“Don’t worry about it, Gohan.” Piccolo grunted, unable to meet the younger man’s eyes. This really wasn’t how he’d wanted Gohan to find out…  
“Listen,” Videl smiled. “Why don’t you two come over for dinner tomorrow night? And we can have a double date!” She looked at her husband. “Won’t that be fun?”   
“… Sure.” Gohan nodded, and looked at Chichi and Piccolo. “You guys can come, right?”   
“Um…”

Chichi looked at Piccolo, who shrugged slightly, not refusing, and timidly, she nodded up at her son. “Yes.” Chichi answered. “That – that’d be nice.”   
“Okay, great.” Videl beamed. “Well – we won’t bother you anymore. We’ll see you tomorrow.”   
“K…” Chichi mumbled, awkwardly and sheepishly as the young couple walked away.

She looked at Piccolo, her face white as a sheet. “Piccolo…”  
“Well…” Piccolo sweat dropped. “At least… he knows now.”   
“Oh my God…” Chichi groaned, running her hands through her perfectly groomed hair. That was horrible! … But she had to admit, she felt better now.


	6. Apocalypse Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably exactly the same as a million other apocalypse films/books/whatever, but I was struggling in the short time I had to think of something original ^_^’ I’m pretty sure the liquidising idea is from War of The Worlds or something… it’s probably from a hundred things. Or maybe they just killed the humans but didn’t blend them, maybe that part’s original… idk. I tried anyway. I think the Chiccolo is kind of original…? Idk. Hopefully lol ^_^’  
> (Also, sorry this is late! I was in work last night and out today so I didn’t get chance to upload it until now)

Chichi’s entire body was shaking. Her breathing was fast, her eyes wide. This was it… this was the day she would die. She thought she’d be happy; she had nothing to live for anymore. Now that she was here, though… she was afraid. She was afraid because she knew it would hurt. But that was pathetic. Even if it did hurt, it wouldn’t hurt for long… and then she would see her family again. She’d told herself that every day; it was the only thing that had stopped her going insane. Even if she died, at least she would see them.

The namekians inhabited Earth now. They’d arrived in great numbers, and just started… slaying everyone. Within hours the world was filled with panic and screams. Children were torn from their parents; entire families were murdered in front of each other. Society as Chichi knew it no longer existed, and it hadn’t for a while. There were barely any humans left, and those that were alive were steadily being rounded up to be liquidised. The namekians were smart; they weren’t about to use up Earth’s water before they needed to, and they weren’t about to let the millions of human corpses go to waste. Every salvageable dead body had been reduced to liquid form, and consumed as food. The living humans were gathered in groups and sent to be blended alive. _Alive_. They weren’t even killed first, they were just hurled into the machine and turned into juice. It was disgusting! It was a horrible way to die; Chichi wouldn’t wish it upon anybody. … But at least her own family had been spared it. They’d died fighting. Goku, Gohan, Goten… all three had been caught by powerful ki attacks, after a struggle with the namekians. It had been devastating, but it had been quick. Now… now that she knew what could have happened, Chichi was glad they’d been killed in the way they were. At least they hadn’t felt much pain. 

Videl and Pan were still alive, in a safe place. Or as safe as it could be… They’d been kidnapped as slaves. Pan was seventeen, and beautiful. As beautiful as her mother. They’d both been torn from Chichi by a rough, harsh-looking namekian, to do things that Chichi didn’t want to imagine. She could only hope he was at least taking good care of them. Maybe they had nice clothes, and good food and a warm bed. Maybe they weren’t living in fear, starving and always on the run, surrounded by screams and bloodshed… Maybe they had a good life. As good as life could be now. Now that the world was over. The humans didn’t belong here anymore. 

So… Chichi was glad this was happening, as scared as she was. She walked in single file, just one in a line of fifty or so humans queueing up to be liquidised. There were namekians all around them, watching that none of them tried to run. Running would actually be worse. They would be beaten, and then liquidised anyway. It was pointless. Once you’d been rounded up, you were going to die, in a horrific and painful way. There was nothing to do but accept it.

She kept her eyes on the ground, flinching and quivering as the sound of blending bones drew nearer. It made her want to vomit. Actually, she could smell vomit, and the smell grew stronger the closer she got… obviously other people were having the same reaction as her. Chichi scrunched her eyes shut, forcing herself not to break down. Okay… it would all be over soon. Just a few seconds. It would hurt like hell, but only for a few seconds. Then she would see Goku again, and Gohan and Goten and her father and Bulma… She would be sent up to heaven, and her life could carry on just like before. Just like the world had never ended at all. Just a little longer… just a little longer –

_Smack_. Chichi flinched, her eyes snapping open when she felt a harsh hand on her shoulder. Wat was happening? She looked up to see who it was, and her eyes became filled with hate. _Piccolo_. It was Piccolo. She hadn’t even noticed that he was one of the guards. What the hell was he doing here? He had no right to touch her. When the namekians had come, he’d joined them. He’d put up a small fight at first… but all too soon he’d joined them. He’d watched Goku and Gohan die. He hadn’t saved them. He hadn’t even tried. He’d allowed Videl and Pan to be taken into slavery, to be used and abused however their owner saw fit. He was a monster. Chichi _**hated**_ him!

She shrugged his hand off, and continued to walk down the line, but he took hold of her again.  
“Wait.” He ordered, seemingly drawing the attention of his new comrades. A namekian came over, and looked at him.  
“Problem?” He asked.  
“I want this one.” Piccolo said. “If I may?”

The namekian looked Chichi up and down, and snorted.  
“You sure?” He grunted. “This one’s old.”  
“I like the old ones.” Piccolo replied, with a smirk that made Chichi’s stomach turn. No… No, she was _not_ going with him! She was _**not**_ going to be his slave! No fucking way! “They fight more.”  
“Hm.” The namekian sniggered, and looked at Chichi. “Is that so? Still… There are better looking ones than this.”  
“Go to hell – **ai**!” Chichi cried out when Piccolo struck her, immediately putting a stop to her attitude. Her cheek was on fire – it felt like he’d broken her jaw!  
“I want this one.” Piccolo said, to what seemed to be his superior. “Please?”  
“… Hm.” The namekian shrugged. “Fine, whatever. But you can’t have another. One each now, remember.”  
“Fine.” Piccolo took hold of Chichi’s arm. “Come with me.”  
“No!” She snarled, desperately trying to pull away. “Let go of me! I’d rather die than go **anywhere** with you, you backstabbing _**monster**_ –”

She couldn’t say anything else. Piccolo yanked her out of the line and threw her to the ground, and harshly slammed his foot into her side.  
“Be quiet. Otherwise I’ll kill you myself!” He barked. He grabbed her by her hair and pulled her to her feet, glaring angrily at Chichi as she still struggling to break away, wildly flailing and cursing at him. What the hell was she doing? Piccolo let out an angry snarl, and dragged her away from the others, to the corner of the room, with Chichi still screaming and fighting against him. She was making a scene!  
“No!” She cried at the top of her lungs as Piccolo forcefully slammed her against the wall, his palm pressing into her chest to hold her in place. He clasped his hand around her throat, choking her to silence her.  
“Listen.” He seethed. “If you keep making a scene they won’t let me keep you, they’ll kill you.” He narrowed his eyes at her, and looked around before speaking quietly. So quietly that Chichi almost couldn’t hear him. “Dende is still alive.”

Right then, Chichi stopped struggling. Dende…? … No… she thought he was… She’d heard they’d killed him, for trying to help the humans… “They have him locked up. But it means the dragonballs are still active. If you shut the hell up, you can be my slave and we’ll find them. We can restore Earth.” Piccolo looked at her. “You understand me?”

Chichi hesitated. She didn’t trust him. She didn’t know why he was saying this, but she didn’t trust him. He was just lying to her! He was saying whatever he could, to make her submit to him! To make her act like his cooperative little slave. The monster. The sick, twisted, backstabbing monster! She wasn’t falling for it! She wanted to break away. She wanted to kick him in between his legs and just run and **die** and be reunited with her family. … But… … even with all that, even though everything about her was telling her not to believe him… Something else told her that she should. Something told her to trust him. Something… something small. Something that remembered who he used to be. Something that remembered a time when he’d never in a million years betray them. … And against her better judgement, Chichi gave in to whatever that feeling was. 

She nodded, and looked at him, agreeing to be quiet and behave. Piccolo let out a sigh. “Good.” He grunted. He glanced over at his comrades, who were looking at him, and judging his behaviour towards her. They would kill him if they ever got the slightest suspicion that he was on the humans’ side again. Piccolo looked back at Chichi, and offered her a nasty smirk. “You’re scared of me, aren’t you? You think I’m going to hurt you?” He parted his lips to extend his tongue, and sickly ran it up her neck, causing Chichi to tremble and whimper underneath him. “Mmm.” Piccolo purred lustfully, and sniggered at the scared look in her eyes. Perfect. “I love the taste of fear.”

He grabbed her by the neck again, and Chichi let out a yelp as he threw her to the floor. She didn’t have time to get up before he extended his palm to her, and dressed her in a muzzle and leash, as if she were some kind of animal. “Come on.” Piccolo grunted, harshly tugging on the leash. “You’re mine now.” He made his way back to his place amongst his comrades, dragging his new slave along beside him.


	7. Angst/Hurt & Comfort Day

It was cold. Not so much the room itself, but… the atmosphere. The awkwardness. The not knowing what to say. The not knowing what to do, to comfort her. The knowing that nothing really could be done. She’d lost her husband. He wasn’t coming back, not this time. She was alone now. For the rest of her life. Did she even know how to do that? Piccolo did. Being along wasn’t something he’d ever had to adjust to. Being alone was normal; it was being with people that he’d found strange. To her, though… as soon as she’d been born she’d had her father. Then when she was still just a child she’d met Goku, and when she was eighteen she was married, and a mother before long… Even when Goku had remained dead for all those years, she’d had Gohan and Goten living with her. She’d never been alone. Not for a single day. Now, though… she was. Her boys were grown up, moved out and with lives and families of their own. Chichi wasn’t the sort of person to burden them with her sadness. She was the sort of person who would smile, and tell them she was fine, and let them go about their business… She wouldn’t let them put themselves out for her. She wouldn’t let them put their lives on hold, just because hers was over. She wouldn’t let them change the fact that she was alone now. For the first time in her life. She was truly alone.

Piccolo sat beside Chichi on the sofa, awkwardly sipping tea and trying to think of something to say. Goku had passed a week or so ago, from a stroke. He was ninety three – it was a good age apparently, by human standards. The funeral had been this morning. Chichi’s family had lingered for as long as she would allow them to, but eventually she’d sent them home with strict orders not to worry about her. She’d let Piccolo to stay, knowing full well that he had nowhere better to be. He didn’t have a wife or children to take care of, unlike her sons. So they had a leaving time, whereas he could stay. 

He wanted to stay. He wanted to be here for her. He wasn’t sure if he was much help, really… but she hadn’t kicked him out – he was the only one she hadn’t eventually kicked out. So, that was good at least. He looked down at her. At her small, grey, frail frame. She was a widow. An old widow. An old lady. How did she get like this…? Beside Goku, Chichi had never looked fragile, but now… suddenly it was painfully obvious how elderly she was. She would die soon. Even if she made a century and lived another seven years, that was soon compared to Piccolo’s lifespan. Her life would be gone in the blink of an eye, three or four centuries before Piccolo’s at least. It was only a matter of time. Her skin was loose and wrinkled; her hair was thin and grey; her eyes were dusty and weary… … How did she get like this? She used to be… beautiful. She used to be passionate, and toned, and wild. … Well, she was still wild. She didn’t fight these days, but she had one hell of a mouth on her when she wanted to. She was still Chichi, really. She was old, but she was still Chichi. Piccolo still respected her. Her boys still looked up to her. … Piccolo was still in love with her.

He placed his hand on hers, and let her sob softly at his side. She didn’t know. All these years… she hadn’t known. She had no idea how much it had pained Piccolo to see her every day, married to another man. Raising the children of another man… cooking for him, and kissing him and yelling at him and giving him stupid chores… Piccolo wanted that. He wanted her to get angry at **him** for not being home enough. He wanted her to nag **him** , he wanted her to kiss him and go to bed with him and live with him… and he’d wanted that for decades. Literally, decades. He’d been in love with her for so long he couldn’t really remember not loving her. He knew there was a time when he hadn’t, but… those memories were fuzzy now. All he remembered was the hurt. All he remembered was the pain of feeling alone, because she wasn’t with him. The pain of watching someone else have the honour of being her husband, while he… he was just the family friend. The one who played with her children, and came round for dinner, and looked out for her and protected her, while not being allowed to be with her. The one who was there for her when she needed to talk, but not touch. The one who stayed with her, platonically and loyally in her time of need… like now. 

She placed her hand on his and leaned against him, like he was a brother to her. She cried openly onto his shoulder, convinced that he didn’t mind because there was nothing between them and there could never be. … And that was fine. It hurt, but it was fine. It would have to be. It was too late to change it. Chichi was an old lady, who had grown old happily with her childhood sweetheart. It was something she’d always wanted, and she was grateful for it. What kind of animal would Piccolo be to ruin it for her now? She only had a few years left. It didn’t seem anything but cruel to tell her that the man she’d spent her entire life with wasn’t the only one that loved her.

So he put his arm around her and rested his chin on her head, and tried not to breathe in her scent as she sobbed against him.   
“Ssh…” Piccolo soothed. “I know. It’s hard. He was a good man, Chichi…”  
“Why…” Chichi whimpered. “Why didn’t I go first?” She sobbed against him. “I just wanted to go first. He was stronger than me. It’s not fair…”  
“Heh. Come on.” Piccolo kissed her creased forehead, just for a split second. For an acceptable amount of time, between friends. He wished it was longer… but it wasn’t. They were just friends. Until the day she died they would always be just friends. “He wouldn’t have coped without you.” Piccolo said. “He needed you. You wouldn’t have let him live on his own, would you?”   
“N…” Chichi sobbed, dabbing her eyes with what had to be the hundredth tissue she’d used that day. “No…” She smiled slightly, and uttered a weak, feeble laugh. “He couldn’t even make toast.”

Piccolo sniggered, joining her in laughter as he rested his cheek against her skull.   
“See.” He smiled. “You couldn’t have gone first. I wouldn’t have let you – I mean, I’d be the one looking after him.”   
“Hm.” Chichi chuckled, and squeezed his hand in hers. “Well… now you have to look after me. I’m just as much of a burden.”   
“Yeah…” Piccolo smirked, ignoring the pain in his heart, just like he always did. Just like he did every time he thought that maybe she could have been his. “I’ll let Gohan do most of it.”

He felt a feeble yet playful tap on his arm, and his heart ached even more.


	8. Domestic Day

_Sigh_. Chichi lay down with her eyes closed, allowing the warmth of the bath tub to carry her away. She was so tired… Goten was teething, and up all night… and all day. He wouldn’t eat. He just screamed and screamed and screamed. Gohan was at Chichi’s father’s house most nights – Chichi had sent him there, worried that Goten’s constant noise would interfere with his studying. He was home at weekends, and he came back for dinner… but on school nights he slept at his grandfather’s house. Chichi missed him, but it was only temporary. Just until Goten’s stubborn teeth came through.

Still… at least she had a little time now. Piccolo was downstairs with him, after making dinner for them both. He was an angel. Chichi didn’t know what she’d do without him. He lived here now. He’d moved in not long after Goten’s birth, just to help out a little… anyway, now it was six months later and they were a real couple. It had just sort of happened, out of nowhere… and Chichi was glad it did, especially on days like these. Days when Goten’s screaming had kept her up all night and driven her insane all day. At least Piccolo could take dinner duty away from her – he wasn’t a great cook, but he was alright. Chichi didn’t care much about food right now anyway. All she wanted was sleep – and silence! But Piccolo seemed to have a way with Goten; he could settle him much better than Chichi. It sounded like he had, actually… Chichi couldn’t hear anything. She’d forgotten what silence sounded like… It was nice.

_Click_. Short-lived, though. Chichi opened her eyes, and turned her head at the sound of the bathroom door opening… and she had to giggle at the drained look on Piccolo’s face.  
“I hate your son.” He mumbled grumpily.  
“Our son.” Chichi corrected him, relaxing back into the bath. “I hate him too.”  
“He threw his dinner over me.” Piccolo’s voice came closer. “Then cried because he was hungry. Who does that?”

Chichi started laughing.  
“Babies do that.” She said.  
“I hate babies.” Piccolo sighed, and sat down on the floor next to the bath tub. “Anyway… he’s asleep now. **Don’t** walk past his room, you’ll wake him.”  
“You think I don’t know that?” Chichi growled. “I’ve been through it all before.”

Piccolo placed his palms over his tired eyes – Goten had been keeping him up all night as well, and as bad as Chichi though the noise was, Piccolo’s ears found it much worse. She didn’t know how lucky she was to be human deaf. He rubbed his face, exhaling slowly.  
“Anyway… sorry.” Piccolo grunted. “I’ll leave you to it –”  
“Stay.” Chichi uttered.

She moved to sit up in the bath, and looked at him. “I need someone to wash my back.”  
“… Really?” Piccolo blinked, surprised. She wanted to do that _now_? They were both exhausted!  
“Come on.” Chichi urged, flicking her head towards the empty space beside her. “Before he wakes up.”  
“… Alright.” Piccolo smirked slightly, and started to undress. He had to admit, there was something oddly exciting about having a few minutes of spare time in between a baby’s screaming.

Chichi giggled as Piccolo dropped his clothes to the floor, and climbed into the bath tub alongside her. He wasted no time in moving to lean over her, nuzzling his fangs against her neck. “You didn’t really want me to just wash your back, right?”  
“Well…” Chichi giggled again, squirming against his lips as he kissed her and softly nibbled at her flesh. “Not _just_ that.”  
“Mm-hm.” Piccolo grunted, sounding somewhat dissatisfied. He was somewhat dissatisfied. He’d been up all night as well – and he’d made dinner! And settled the shrieking monkey baby. Where was his backrub…? “Sure, Princess.” He sat beside Chichi again and took hold of her, pulling her against him so that she was sitting in between his legs. “My turn next, though.”  
“Alright.” Chichi playfully agreed. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his palms against her as Piccolo poured body was into his hands and started to massage her back. This was nice… finally, they had a minute to themselves. And Piccolo gave the best massages ever. “I’m going shopping tomorrow.” Chichi said, suddenly remembering. “Do you want anything?”  
“Melon.” Piccolo answered in one word, referring to his favourite kind of flavoured water. “But don’t get the cheap one.”  
“It tastes exactly the same!” Chichi protested.  
“No it doesn’t.” Piccolo argued flatly. “If it did I wouldn’t want you to buy the expensive one.”  
“It’s double the price!”  
“It’s double the quality.”

Chichi turned round to glare at him, and Piccolo glared back. … Hm. Her bossy eyes usually worked… Actually, they always worked! On pretty much anything except the brand of flavoured water. … Tch. Fine. Whatever. She didn’t care anyway, and she was too tired to argue.  
“If I’m buying that, you’re going out fighting tomorrow – but do it when Gohan’s at school, I don’t want him thinking getting into street fights is normal. And do one with a high prize this time!”  
“Chichi, I can’t be that fussy.” Piccolo growled. “Nobody wants to fight me anymore, they all know I’ll win. I don’t even like doing those things. None of them can put up a good fight. It feels like I’m taking advantage of them.”  
“It’s easy money.” Chichi huffed. “And nobody will give you a normal job with your face. No income, no expensive water.” 

Piccolo stopped, annoyed. She was so difficult. And she was worse when she was tired! Chichi was happy enough to use Goku’s savings and life insurance when Gohan needed over-priced school books, or when Goten needed yet more unnecessary toys that he never even played with… but the second Piccolo asked for a better brand of water – that she didn’t even drink so it wasn’t like she even knew what she was talking about when it came to ‘tasting the same’ – suddenly she was broke and Piccolo had to start providing for the family, by whatever means he could. Usually he would have to enter into street fights for prize money because as Chichi said, nobody would dare hire him with his face. Some people still thought he was King Piccolo…  
“… Fine. Get the cheap water.” Piccolo growled, and pulled his hands away from her. “But it’s my turn now. And I want a blowjob.”  
“It’s expensive water _or_ a blowjob.” Chichi haggled for the sake of haggling. Now she really was being difficult…  
“Are you serious?” Piccolo frowned.  
“Yep.” Chichi leaned back against him, smirking slightly. “Sorry, big boy.”  
“Chi –”  
“ _ **Aaaaaaaaaa**_!”

Both of their faces suddenly fell, at a sound they had come to hate, and they both let out angry sighs.  
“Go on.” Piccolo said, tapping his palm against her butt. “I put him down.”  
“No…” Chichi groaned desperately. Her eyes were stinging in exhaustion. She honestly couldn’t handle it. She knew Piccolo had done a lot today, and she was grateful, but… right now she couldn’t handle it. She just needed a little more time…“Please. You go…” She trailed her hand up his face, to stroke his antennae. “Just give me a couple more hours. Then I’ll buy the expensive water, I promise.”  
“And I still get a backrub?” Piccolo replied.  
“Yeah… but give me one as well, you hardly did anything!”  
“Fine.” Piccolo shrugged. “Blowjob?”  
“I’ll think about it.”  
“Then you get **one** hour –”  
“Fine!” Chichi barked, angered by the fact that he wasn’t just giving in to her. Why couldn’t he just do whatever she said without arguing!

She moved away to let him out, and glared at him. “But you know what? I think it’s pretty disgusting that I have to bribe you into spending time with our son!”  
“Heh.” Piccolo smirked in satisfaction. He suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of victory as he climbed out of the bath. “I learned from the best, Princess.” He leaned down and kissed her, his claws fondly grazing against her spine. “Try not to drown.”  
“Shut up!” Chichi pouted, and watched him leave the room.


End file.
